Okay, Lets try this again.
Back to the beginning it feels like. Time to kick myself in the fucking ass. I’ve let myself get physically lazy, mentally lazy and just fucking lazy. There is no excuse, because if I really was serious I would not let anything interfere with what I’m doing.
So let’s try it again…
I’ve been thinking a lot lately and well…I’ve realized that I’m so not close to perfect…So very, very far from it actually.
I’ve made some really stupid mistakes along my life. I’ve said things and done things that I’m not really proud of…some i’m just ashamed of. I know that sometimes I’m abrasive, sometimes I’m an ass but also sometimes I am caring and kind.
Too those who along my path that I’ve hurt, been an ass too, rude or just whatever…I am sorry. I really am. Sometimes my attitude, teasing, humor or bad mood can get out of hand. I am working to make changes in my actions and how I deal with and handle things. So please bear with me…I’ll probably stumble, trip and falter at times…but it doesn’t’ mean I’m giving up trying to change…..it just means I’m mortal……
Well as you can see, I’ve done a smashing job of doing not a fucking thing.
On the physical end, I had started well (as you could tell by the last post) but then got this damn head/throat/chest cold and it knocked me right the fuck back down again. It’s so disheartening. I just can’t seem to get it on lock. Then as I finally get over most of this damn cold, I slip down the stairs on wet leaves and wind up screwing up my hand. Still hurts and it’s been about a week and a half.
Going to try to get the Bowflex back up stairs and see if that will help me get my ass in gear.
The mental end, well thats another post….
Dear Me, I wanted to write this letter to let you know I am sorry. Sorry for so many things that I should have done or not done. I know you had a rough beginning. Moving constantly and never having a stable base. Always feeling like you were on your own. Taking on the…
Sometimes you get just plain god damn tired of shit and you have to make a change. Well this site is about my attempts to rebuild myself. The good, the bad and the damn ugly of it all. So hop on the roller coaster and let’s see whether it all goes off the tracks.